Degree Jokes / Recent Jokes

John Kallam graduated with a BA in criminology and entered the U.S.
Army. He served for 20 years beginning in the late 1930's. He was
an investigator during the Nuremberg trials of Nazi war criminals,
and stayed in Germany for many years organizing civilian police forces
in the post-war era. He also wrote numerous books on criminal
justice. He retired from military service in the late 1950's at the
rank of full colonel.
Returning to Fresno, California, he began teaching criminology at what
was then Fresno State College. (Later to become the California State
University, Fresno.) His work was well respected, but after about ten
years of service, he was called to see the president of the college.
He was informed that he could no longer teach with just a bachelor's
degree. Times were changing, he was told, and the school demanded
that faculty members hold a graduate degree. Merely having 20 years
of distinguished experience was no more...

A local law enforcement officer stops a car for
traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since
he's in a good mood that day he decides to give the
poor fellow a break and write him out a warning
instead of a ticket. So, he asks the man his name.
"Fred," he replies.
"Fred what?" the officer asks.
"Just Fred," the man responds.
When the officer presses him for a last name, the man
tells him that he used to have a last name but
lost it.
The officer thinks he has a nut case on his hands but
plays along with it.
"Tell me Fred, how did you lose your last name?"
The man replies, "It's a long story so stay with me.
I was born Fred Dingaling. I know, funny last name.
The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed
to myself. I studied hard and got good grades.
When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a
doctor. I went through college medical more...

What does your profession say about you?

1. MARKETING - You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.

2. SALES - Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree." You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers so you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.

3. TECHNOLOGY - Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying but who the hell can tell. It is written that Geeks shall inherit the Earth.

4. ENGINEERING - One of only more...

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw.
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.
Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom: No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats - approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less.
668: The Neighbor of the Beast
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma.
Her kisses left something to be desired - the rest of her.
Drawing on more...

An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. "I want to become a lawyer. How much is it or the express degree you told me about?""It's $50,000," the lawyer said. "But why? You'll be dead soon, why do you want to become a lawyer?""That's my business! Get me the course!"Four days later, the old man got his law degree. His lawyer was at his bedside, making sure his bill would be paid.Suddenly the old man was racked with fits of coughing and it was clear that this would be the end. Still curious, the lawyer leaned over and said, "please, before it's too late, tell me why you wanted to to get a law degree so badly before you died?"In a faint whisper, as he breathed his last, the old man said, "One less lawyer..."

A son is calling his mom from college, and telling her that he had just got his degree. The mother says: Thats great honey! What kind of degree? And the son, almost squealing with excitement says: The best one ever, a Celsius degree!

A son is calling his mom from college, and telling her that he had just got his degree. The mother says: That's great honey! What kind of degree? And the son, almost squealing with excitement says: The best one ever, a Celsius degree!