Cigarette Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two old ladies were taking a walk and one of them was smoking a cigarette. When it started to rain, she reached into her handbag, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette.
Seeing this, her friend asked, "What did you just put over your cigarette?"
"It's a condom," she replied.
"Where do you buy those?" asked her friend. "At the drugstore," the woman with the cigarette answered.
As they were passing by a drugstore, the old lady asking all the questions went inside and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. Being quite surprised by her question, he told her yes he did and asked what size she would like.
Thinking for a brief moment she replied, "Big enough to fit a camel."

Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke.
Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that's a good idea!
What is it that you put over your cigarette?"
The other old lady said, "It's a condom."
"A condom? Where do you get those?"
The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all the questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms.
The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, "What size do you want?"
"One that would fit a Camel."

Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke.Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that's a good idea! What is it that you put over your cigarette?"The other old lady said, "It's a condom.""A condom? Where do you get those?"The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all the questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms.The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, "What size do you want?""One that would fit a Camel."

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Cigarette!
Cigarette who?
Cigarette life if you don't weaken!

Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the seat of his pants, but it wouldn't light. He tried another. It wouldn't light. The third one finally lit. lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket.
"What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?"
"That's a good match. I'll use it again."

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Myrtle: What's that?

Beatrice: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Myrtle: Where did you get it?

Beatrice: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Myrtle hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a package of condoms. The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she prefers.

Myrtle: It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel.

Two elderly ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking. The lady asked, "What's that?" "A condom," the other lady responded. "This way my cigarette doesn't get wet." "Where did you get it?" the other lady asked. "You can get them at any drugstore." The next day, the first lady hobbled herself down to the local drugstore and announced to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy looked at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she prefers. "It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel." The pharmacist fainted.