Chasing Jokes / Recent Jokes

On leaving his office and reaching the tram stop, a Sardar found that the tram bound for his home had just started moving. The Sardar, in his anxiety to get home fast, ran after the tram; in course of time, it was found that the race between the speeding and slowing tram and the Sardar ended with the Sardar reaching home, chasing the tram.
Gleefully, the Sardar exclaimed to his wife upon entering home that he has saved up 40-paise that day chasing the home-bound tram! The Sardarnee, however, was not amused, but quite upset, and said, "After all you are only a Sardar - instead of chasing the tram, if only you had chased a taxi, you could have saved ten rupees instead of a mere 40-paise."

As a drunk guy staggers out of the bar one Friday evening, a fire engine races past, siren wailing and lights flashing. Immediately, the drunk starts chasing the engine, running as fast as he can until eventually he collapses, gasping for breath. In a last act of desperation he shouts after the fire engine, “If that’s the way you want it, you can keep your bloody ice creams! ”

My uncle's an airline pilot. .. kinda makes it difficult to hold the bottle though...

When my Dad came home last night, my mom fainted.

Don't tell anyone I said but we're live on national TV.

I broke a leg one time. .. spilt coffee all over.

I bought this thing for my car. You put it on your car, it sends out this little noise, so when you drive through the woods, deer won't run in front of your car. I installed it backwards by accident. Driving down the street with a herd of deer chasing me. Those were the days.

That's a good thing to say to the police the next time they stop you. "License and registration, please." "Hermits have no peer pressure." "License and registration, please." "Whenever I think about the past, it just brings back so many memories." "License and registration, please." "There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. more...

A bear is chasing a rabbit through a forest. They find a bottle and decide to rub it. A genie pops out. He says "I will grant each of you three wishes."The bear says "I wish all the bears in the forest were females." *poof* It's done. The rabbit says "I wish for a motorcycle." *poof* It's done. The bear says "I wish all the bears in this country were females." *poof* It's done. The rabbit says "I wish for a lifetime supply of carrots back at my house." *poof* It's done. The bear is thinking to himself "why is the rabbit wasting his wishes on stupid small things? oh well." "And for my third wish, I wish that all the bears in the world were female." *poof* It's done. The rabbit says "For MY last wish, I want the bear to be gay." And he rides off on his motorcycle.

Why is your dad chasing those pigs through the garden? We're raising mashed potatoes.

Two military policemen were chasing a fleeing draftee from The military base. The draftee ran into the courtyard of a convent where a nun Was seated on a round bench beneath a tree quietly reading a book. He said to her "quick sister, please hide me I don't want to be Drafted and the m.p.'s are chasing me!"

She lifted up her skirts and said hide under my skirt. The two policemen came By and asked if she had seen anyone. She replied "no"

After they left she told the young boy to come out all was OK He said you have a nice set of legs for a nun!

She replied if you reach up a Little farther you'll find a set of balls! I'm not going to be drafted either!

Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them. "Whats going on here, anyway?" he asked."This woman was found committing adultery, and the law says we should stone her!" one of the crowd responded."Wait," yelled Jesus. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."Suddenly, a stone was thrown from out of the sky, and knocked the woman on the side of her head."Aw, cmon, Dad..." Jesus cried, "Im trying to make a point here!"