Chasing Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three dogs are sitting in the waiting room at the vet's: a Poodle, a Terrier and a Great Dane. They're all discussing what they're in for.
The Terrier says, "I can't help but bite the postman, every time he turns up I'm after him down the path. The Post Office have complained to my owners and they've agreed to put me down".
All the dogs agree that this is a great shame.
The Poodle then states why it's at the vet's. " Every time I see a car I'm over the fence and chasing after it. It's great fun, the problem is that a car I was chasing yesterday swerved to avoid me and crashed, killing the driver. My owners have decided that I should be put down so that I don't cause any more accidents".
The Poodle and the Terrier turn to the Great Dane to hear his story.
"Well, my owner had just had a bath" he says "she was bending over in the bedroom drying her legs, and I just couldn't resist it, I climbed aboard and had my way with more...

Two military policemen were chasing a fleeing draftee from The military base.
The draftee ran into the courtyard of a convent where a nun was seated on a round bench beneath a tree quietly reading a book. He said to her "quick sister, please hide me I don't want to be Drafted and the MP's are chasing me!" She lifted up her skirts and said hide under my skirt.
The two policemen came By and asked if she had seen anyone. She replied "no".
After they left she told the young boy to come out all was OK He said you have a nice set of legs for a nun! She replied if you reach up a little farther you'll find a set of balls! I'm not going to be drafted either!

Joe still enjoyed chasing girls when he got to be 70.When his wife was asked if she minded, she answered, "Why should I be upset? Dogs chase cars, but they can't drive."

Two military policemen were chasing a fleeing draftee from the military base. The draftee ran into the courtyard of a convent. He saw a nun seated on a round bench beneath a tree, quietly reading a book.
He said to her, "Quick sister, please hide me I don't want to be drafted, and the M.P.'s are chasing me!"
She lifted up her skirt and said, "Quick hide under here."
The two policemen came by and asked if she had seen anyone. She replied, "No."
After they left she told the young man to come out and that everything was going to be OK.
He thanked her and said, "You have a nice set of legs for a nun!"
She replied, "If you reach up a little farther you'll find a nice set of balls, too. I'm not going to be drafted either!"

What do you call an elephant chasing a cat? Depends on what his name is...

Q: In the 1960's, what did you call 100 white guys chasing a black guy?

A: The Ku Klux Klan

Q: Today, what do you call 100 white guys chasing a black guy?

A: The PGA! (wink)

He who is without sinJesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them. "What`s going on here, anyway?" he asked."This woman was found committing adultery, and the law says we should stone her!" one of the crowd responded."Wait," yelled Jesus. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."Suddenly, a stone was thrown from out of the sky, and knocked the woman on the side of her head."Aw, c`mon, Dad..." Jesus cried, "I`m trying to make a point here!"