Boston Red Sox Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Red Sox agreed to terms with Brad Penny. He would have signed with the Yankees, but they said his name indicates that he's nine million dollars and ninety nine cents below their pay grade.

Boston Red Sox hurler Daisuke Matsuzaka allowed five runs in the first inning of a rehab start. That's the worst rehab start since Amy Winehouse.

Red Sox slugger David Ortiz is in the biggest homerun slump of his career. He's still had plenty of Grand Slams, but only at Denny's.

A study on how emotions cloud memories found that Red Sox fans have fuzzy memories about the historic 2004 ALCS victory over the Yankees.
You mean my cherished memory of George Steinbrenner dressed in drag, wearing a pink Red Sox cap, curled in a fetal position behind the pitcher's mound, chanting "UNCLE!" over and over again didn't really happen?

Red Sox reliever Jonathan Papelbon invented a new pitch: a combination cutter and slider that he calls a slutter. The pitch is also known as "The Paris Hilton."

The Boston Red Sox agreed to a $5 million contract with Tim Wakefield. The contract spans two years, or one pitch from Tim Wakefield.