Big Jokes / Recent Jokes
A person is just about as big as the things that make them angry.
The following are actual stories provided by travel agents
I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get
messed up by being near the window.
A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going
over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to
California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to
explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she
interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape
Town is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the
stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown
is in Africa." Her response... click.
A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was
wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an
ocean-view room. I tried more...
A group of guys are on their way to a party, but couldn’t quite remember the address to the house. ”I’m sure this is the one, ” said the driver. ”Well, I have got to go to the bathroom SO BAD. ” Replied one of the others, ”I’ll go knock on the door, and check. If it’s the wrong house, at least I’ll get to a toilet! ”
So he gets out and walks to the front door. He rings it once…. No answer. He rings it again….. Still no answer. So, he thinks, ”This is a big house, big party, maybe the party is outside, in the backyard. ” So he walks around the house to the back, there was no one out there either. As he aproached the back door, he was suprized to find it unlocked, and opened. There was obviously no one home, so he figured he’d just quietly run inside real quick, and use there bathroom, no one would know. So, he goes inside but he can’t find the bathroom anywhere. So, he quickly ran up the stairs and searched, and searched, till finally as he opened more...
Harry was delighted when he found a young woman who accepted his proposal of marriage as he was sensitive about his wooden leg and a bit afraid no one would have him.
In fact, he couldn’t bring himself to tell his fiancée’ about his leg when he slipped the ring on her finger, nor when she bought the dress, nor when they picked the time and place. All he kept saying was, “Darling, I’ve got a big surprise for you, ” at which she blushed and smiled bewitchingly.
The wedding night came and went and the young couple were at last alone in their hotel room. “Now don’t forget, Harry, you promised me a big surprise, ” said the bride.
Unable to say a word, Harry turned out the lights, unstrapped his wooden leg, slipped into be, and placed his wife’s hand on the stump.
“Hmmmmmm, ” she said softly, “That Is a surprise. But pass me the Vaseline and I’ll see what I can do! ”
A little boy and his dad are standing in line at the grocery store behind a big fat lady. The little boy says, "hey dad, look how fat that lady is!""Shhhh, quiet son, she'll hear you." "But dad, look how big and fat that lady is!""Shhhhhh, don't say that son, it's not nice!""But dad, look how big and fat that lady is!""Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh, don't say that son, it's not nice and it's rude!"Suddenly the fat lady's beeper goes off." Look out dad, she's backing up!"
What's as big as a horse, but weighs nothing? A horses shadow!