Benz Jokes / Recent Jokes

On a golf tour in Newfoundland, Tiger Woods drives his Mercedes Benz into a gas station in a remote part of the island.
The attendant at the pump greets him in a typical Newfoundland manner, completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.
"Mornin' bye" says the attendant.
Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle.
As he does so, two tees fall out out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.
"What are dey den, son?" asks the attendant.
"They're called tees" replies Tiger.
"Well, what on de good earth are dey for?" inquires the Newfie.
"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving" says Tiger.
"Freeckin Jaysus" says the Newfie, "Dem boys at Mercedes tink of everything".

On a golf tour in Newfoundland, Tiger Woods drives his Mercedes Benz into a gas station in a remote part of the island.
The attendant at the pump greets him in a typical Newfoundland manner, completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.
“Mornin’ bye” says the attendant.
Tiger nods a quick “hello” and bends forward to pick up the nozzle.
As he does so, two tees fall out out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.
“What are dey den, son? ” asks the attendant.
“They’re called tees” replies Tiger.
“Well, what on de good earth are dey for? ” inquires the Newfie.
“They’re for resting my balls on when I’m driving” says Tiger.
“Freeckin Jaysus” says the Newfie, “Dem boys at Mercedes tink of everything”.

Four friends reunited at a party after 30 years. After a few laughs and drinks, one of them had to go to the rest room. The ones who stayed behind began talk about their kids and their successes.
The first guy says: I am very proud of my son, he is my pride and joy. He started working at a very successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration soon he was promoted and began to climb the corporate ladder becoming the General Manager and now he is the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes Benz for his birthday.
The second guy says: Damn, that's terrific!! My son is also my pride and joy, I am very proud of him. He started working at a travel agency for a very big airline. He went to flight school to become a pilot and also managed to become a partner in the company where he now owns the majority of the assets. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new more...

A man walked up to a Franciscan and Jesuit and asked, "How many novenas must you say to get a Mercedes Benz?" The Franciscan asked, "What`s a Mercedes Benz?" The Jesuit asked, "What`s a novena?"

A singhala elephant and a white mouse
became very good friends
somehow.
One day, while walking together the elephant falls into
a rather large hole.
Being the singhala elephant's friend
the white mouse
hurries home and brings his Mercedes Benz
ties a line to the elephant and pulls him out.
The elephant humbly thanks the white mouse.
A few days later,
the mouse falls
into a rather deep hole.
The singhala elephant
rather calmly and easily
sticks down his
rather long appendage,
that elephants are known to have,
giving
the white mouse a way to climb out.
Moral of the story:
Singhala people don't need Mercedes Benz cars.
(It's a matter of pride)