"Tiger Woods drives his Mercedes Benz" joke

On a golf tour in Newfoundland, Tiger Woods drives his Mercedes Benz into a gas station in a remote part of the island.
The attendant at the pump greets him in a typical Newfoundland manner, completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.
"Mornin' bye" says the attendant.
Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle.
As he does so, two tees fall out out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.
"What are dey den, son?" asks the attendant.
"They're called tees" replies Tiger.
"Well, what on de good earth are dey for?" inquires the Newfie.
"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving" says Tiger.
"Freeckin Jaysus" says the Newfie, "Dem boys at Mercedes tink of everything".

your mamma is so ugly she makes blind kids scared

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Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

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Your momma so stupid she waited for a stop sign to turn green

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your momas so fat when she steped on a scale the scale said o shit i want ur weight not ur fone number

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Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

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