Annoy Jokes / Recent Jokes
1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which.
2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes.
3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would.
4) Act like a hillbilly. Period.
5) Improvise Italian operas.
6) Gossip about someone to their face.
7) Answer every question with a question.
8) Repeat yourself constantly.
9) Act like a member of the opposite sex.
10) Repeat yourself constantly.
11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons.
12) Repeat yourself constantly.
13) Change what you repeat every now and then.
14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks.
15) Change what you repeat every now and then.
16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else.
17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy more...
Top ten ways to annoy your waiter
From the Late Show with David Letterman - Friday, January 13, 1995 with revisions made by John Insor.
10. Eight hour lunch, two dollar tip.
9. Ask, "Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?"
8. After he describes each special, you shout, "Garbage!"
7. Whenever he walks by, cough and mutter, "Minimum wage".
6. Every few seconds, yell, "More waffles, Cuomo!"
5. Insist that before ordering, you be allowed to touch the London broil.
4. Tie tablecloth around neck and say, "You wouldn't charge Superman for dinner, would you?"
3. Every time you eat or drink, cough really hard.
2. As he walks by to the kitchen, scream, "He's gonna spit in the chowder!"
1. Three words: eat the check.
The Most Complete List Of Ways To Annoy People, Cops, Your Roommate, And More.
Annoy People
1. Pay tolls with $100 bills
2. Leave your supermarket cart on the street or in the middle of the parking lot
3. Eat produce at the market; don't buy it
4. When giving directions, leave out a turn or two
5. Leave the outdoor Christmas decorations up until March or April
6. Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons
7. Knock and ask "How is it going?" to someone constipated in a public bathroom stall.
8. Develop at least three strategies for cutting into the front of lines
9. Announce when you're going to the bathroom
10. Chew other people's pencils
11. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
12. Wear large hats during the movies
13. Touch strangers
14. Tell little children the truth about Santa more...
How to Annoy People at Work1)Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inchpaper, 99 copies. 2)Practice making fax and modem noises. 3)Duringmeetings, disassemble your pen and "accidentaly" flip the cartridgeacross the room. 4)Staple papers in the middle of the page. 5)ALWAYSTYPE WITH CAPS-LOCK ON 6)type only in lower case. 7)dontuseanypunctuationorspaceseither 8)While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet. 9)In the memo field ofall your checks, write "for sensual massage." 10)Ask your co-workersmysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
19 Ways To Annoy/Confuse Santa Claus
1.) Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
2.) While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.
3.) Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
4.) While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.
5.) Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!
6.) Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa."
7.) Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.
8.) While he's in more...
Real opcodesAAC Alter All Commands AAD Alter All Data AAO Add And Overflow AAR Alter At Random AB Add Backwards ABC AlphaBetize Code ABR Add Beyond Range ACC Advance CPU Clock ACDC Allow Controller to Delete Contents ACDP Allow Controller to Die Peacefully ACQT Advance Clock to Quitting Time ADB Another Dumb Bug AEE Absolve Engineering Errors AFF Add Fudge Factor AFHB Align Fullword on Halfword Boundary AFP Abnormalize Floating Point AFR Abort Funny Routine AFVC Add Finagle`s Variable Constant AGB Add GarBage AGWA Add and Get Wrong Answer AI Add Improper AIB Attack Innocent Bystander AIB Attack Innocent Bystanders AISG Access and Improve Student Grade AMM Add Mayo and Mustard AMM Answer My Mail AMS Add Memory to System ANC ANnoy Consultant AOI Annoy Operator Immediate AR Advance Rudely AR Alter Reality ARN Add and Reset to Non-zero ARN Add and Reset to Nonzero ARZ Add and Reset to Zero AS Add Sideways ASQGSA ASCII Stupid Question, Get a Stupid ANSI AT Accumulate Trivia AWP Argue With more...