Absent-minded Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A very absent-minded professor entered a crowded bus, with no available seats. Suddenly a little girl raised from her seat and offered it to the professor. He was astonished and said to her:
    - You are a very good girl, what's your name?
    - My name is Eve, daddy...

    A Mississippi professor was at a party and became indignant when asked if college professors were absent-minded. "Professors haven't got bad memories," he declared. "They're not absent-minded. Don't you think I know where I am right now, and don't you think tomorrow I'll know where I was last night? Would somebody like to ask me another question?" "Yes," said another guest. "Is it true that professors are absent-minded and have bad memories?" "Good!" said the professor. "I knew sooner or later somebody would ask me that question."

    And my husband is very absent-minded," wailed the embarrassed bride to the marriage counselor. "Last night, while we were making love, the doorbell rang; and without saying a word, he jumped up and answered it."
    "You mean he just got up and left you lying there?" the incredulous counselor asked.
    "No, sir," she sobbed, "he took me with him!"

    One of the world's greatest scientists was also recognized as the original absent-minded professor. One day, on board a train, he was unable to find his ticket. The conductor said, "Take it easy. You'll find it."When the conductor returned, the professor still couldn't find the ticket. The conductor, recognizing the famous scientist, said, "I'm sure you bought a ticket. Forget about it.""You're very kind," the professor said, "but I must find it, otherwise I won't know where to get off."

    An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife''s birthday and their anniversary. He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to his wife on these dates along with an appropriate note signed, "Your loving husband." His wife was thrilled by this new display of attention and all went well until one day, some bouquets later, when he came home, kissed his wife and said offhandedly, "Nice flowers, honey. Where''d you get them?"

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