Top Rated Jokes

What do you do when two snails have a fight? Leave them to slug it out!

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Ralph, feeling very ill, goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to
the hospital to undergo tests.
After the lengthy exam, he wakes up hungry and quite groggy. Ralph looks about,
noticing that he is now in a private room at the hospital. Just then the phone
by his bed rings...
"This is your doctor," said the serious voice. "We just got the results back
from your battery of tests. Obviously, you have lead a very promiscuous life."
Ralph smiled: "And I've enjoyed every minute!"
The doctor's voice became even more serious: "Well you're not going to enjoy
this; We've found you have an extremely nasty disease called G.A.S.H. It's a
combination of gonorrhea, AIDS, syphilis, and herpes!"
"My gosh, doctor!" said Ralph, now quite worried. "What are you going to do?"
The doctor explained: "The first thing we're going to do is put you on a strict
diet of pizzas, more...

Q: what is the difference in the mafia and the goverment A:one is organized

How do you know if a chink robbed your house?
Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the chink is still trying to back out of your driveway!

Knock knock... cows

Hot 2 years ago

Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!

Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!