Recent Jokes
A farmer goes out and buys a new, young rooster. As soon as he brings him home, the
young rooster rushes and screws all 150 of the farmers hens. The farmer is impressed.
At lunchtime, the young rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer is not just impressed anymore,he is worried. Next morning,not only is the rooster screwin...g the hens but he is screwing the turkeys,ducks even the cow.
Later farmer looks out into the barnyard and finds the rooster stretched out, limp as a rag, his eyes closed, dead and vultures circling overhead.
The farmer runs out, looks down at the young roosters limp body and says: "You deserved it, you horny bastard!"
And the young rooster opens one eye, points up at the vultures with his wing, and says, Shhhh!,they are about to land."
Dick (explicit)
byOn Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice fuking bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah." The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket. The kid takes the ticket and before the cop rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did." The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."
Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...
How does a group of dolphin's make a decision? Flipper coin!
Confucius Says: It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.
A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.
Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them.... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age."
"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her fucking appendix out!"