"Confucius Says" joke

Confucius Says: It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

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TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!

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A very absent-minded professor entered a crowded bus, with no available seats. Suddenly a little girl raised from her seat and offered it to the professor. He was astonished and said to her:
- You are a very good girl, what's your name?
- My name is Eve, daddy...

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Mr. Spears announced he will write an autobiography so people will have a better understanding of who he is. Federline will write the book as part of a Learning Annex class he's taking called, "Autobiography Writing For Talentless Douchebags With Nothing To Say."

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A man submitted an autobiography to a publisher. The publisher read the first 3 pages and said, ” I cant publish this book! Youre just writing a story about your car!
The man said, ” I know….. thats why they call it an auto-biography!! ”

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Zachary:I do not understand this joke
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Zachary:i dont understand
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dudemanguybro:This isn't right. The real joke goes like this: "A kid asks his dad what a vagina looks like and the dad replies, 'before or after sex?' the kid says 'uh, before.' The dad says, 'Have you ever seen a beautiful flower with silky soft petals?' the kid nods and thinks for a sec then asks, 'What about after sex?' The dad looks at him and asks, 'have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?'"
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Russ:I am so into hung dudes
Funny Joke? 70 vote(s). 79% are positive. 4 comment(s).