"Confucius Says" joke

Confucius Says: It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.

FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I
turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't
say a word...
he more...

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A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...

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Two Rangers stopped a guy for speeding on the state highway in Waxahachie, Texas. As they were writing up the ticket, one Ranger turned to the other and said, "How do you spell Waxahachie?" The other one replied, "I don't know." So the first one said, more...

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An old married couple were driving down the road one day when suddenly the woman punched her husband right in the face. He shouted, "what the hell was that for?". She replied, "That was for 50 years of the worst sex I ever had!" As they continued down the more...

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6

Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

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Zachary:I do not understand this joke
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Zachary:i dont understand
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dudemanguybro:This isn't right. The real joke goes like this: "A kid asks his dad what a vagina looks like and the dad replies, 'before or after sex?' the kid says 'uh, before.' The dad says, 'Have you ever seen a beautiful flower with silky soft petals?' the kid nods and thinks for a sec then asks, 'What about after sex?' The dad looks at him and asks, 'have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?'"
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Russ:I am so into hung dudes
Funny Joke? 70 vote(s). 79% are positive. 4 comment(s).