"Confucius Says" joke

Confucius Says: It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.

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comments (4)
 One-liners, Sex, Screw, Confucius, Crib

Leave them to slug it out!

What do you do when two snails have a fight? Leave them to slug it out!

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One arm pollock

Q: how do you get a one arm pollock out of a tree? A: you wave at him

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Gullible cop

by TJ

A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...

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WILE E. COYOTE vs THE ACME COMPANY, INC.

WILE E. COYOTE, Plaintiff v. s. THE ACME COMPANY, INC., Defendant In the United States District Court, Southwestern District, Tempe, Arizona Case No. B191294, Judge Joan Kujava, Presiding Plaintiff, Mr. Wiley E. Coyote, a resident of Arizona and contiguous states, does hereby more...

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Dirty Words

One day, little Timmy was at school and heard the word "shit". He went home and asked his dad for the definition and he promptly told him "coats and jackets".
Timmy went to school the next day and heard the word "fucking", and for a second time, more...

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Zachary:I do not understand this joke
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Zachary:i dont understand
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dudemanguybro:This isn't right. The real joke goes like this: "A kid asks his dad what a vagina looks like and the dad replies, 'before or after sex?' the kid says 'uh, before.' The dad says, 'Have you ever seen a beautiful flower with silky soft petals?' the kid nods and thinks for a sec then asks, 'What about after sex?' The dad looks at him and asks, 'have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?'"
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Russ:I am so into hung dudes
Funny Joke? 70 vote(s). 79% are positive. 4 comment(s).