"Confucius Says" joke

Confucius Says: It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.

Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

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Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!

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A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...

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A man had his VISA stolen but he decided not to report it as the thief was spending less than his wife did!

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Zachary:I do not understand this joke
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Zachary:i dont understand
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dudemanguybro:This isn't right. The real joke goes like this: "A kid asks his dad what a vagina looks like and the dad replies, 'before or after sex?' the kid says 'uh, before.' The dad says, 'Have you ever seen a beautiful flower with silky soft petals?' the kid nods and thinks for a sec then asks, 'What about after sex?' The dad looks at him and asks, 'have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?'"
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Russ:I am so into hung dudes
Funny Joke? 68 vote(s). 79% are positive. 4 comment(s).