"Chuck Norris touch" joke

Ted: What's the longest word in ebonics? Shhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiittttt 

unknown: no, because its a yes or no question  

unknown: no, because its a yes or no question  

Louise: A man walked into the ladies clothing store and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, “I’d like to buy a bra for my wife.” “What type of bra?” asked the clerk. “Type?” inquires the man, “There’s more than one type?” “Look around” said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color, and material imaginable. Actually even with all this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from. Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied, “There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?” Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them. The saleslady responded, “It is all really quite simple.” The Catholic type supports the masses, The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen, The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and The Baptist makes mountains out of molehills. Now, have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn’t figure out what the letters stood for, well it’s about time you became informed. A - - Almost boobs B - - Barely there C - - Can’t complain D - - Dang DD - Double Dang E - - Enormous F - - Fake G - - Get a reduction H - - Help me, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up! And don’t forget the German bra: Holtzemfromfloppen  

Louise: Don't forget the German bra: Holtzemfromfloppen