"Chuck Norris touch" joke

A woman's breasts are like a child's toys. They are meant for the child - but the husband is the one that usually ends up playing with them.

A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...

Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

You mamma is soo fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out!

Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again