"Words of Insperation" joke

Confucius say:
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. Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be shiftless bastard.
. Man who lay girl on hill not on level.
. He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.
. Wife who put man in dog house find him in cat house.
. Man who farts in church sits alone in pew.
. Boy who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand.
. Woman who cooks carrots and peas in same pot very unsanitary.
. Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
. Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to feel low down.
. Man with athletic finger make broad jump.
. Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.
. Seven days on honeymoon make one hole weak.
. Modern house without toilet uncanny.
. Woman who springs on inner-spring this spring, gets off-spring next spring.
. Nail on board is not good as screw on bench.
. Man who have hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
. Short man who dance with tall woman get bust in mouth.
. Man who lay woman on ground has peace on earth.
. Man who sleep on railroad tracks wake up with split personality.
. Baseball very strange game. How can man with 4 balls walk?
. Woman who go to man's apartment for snack may get tit bit.
. Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in face.
. Woman who spends much time on bedspring, may have offspring.
. Passionate kiss like spider web, lead to undoing of fly.
. Man and mouse alike, both end up in pussy.
. Man who get kicked in testicles left holding bag.
. Man who sucks nipples make clean breast of things.
. Man who fights with wife all day, gets no peace at night.
. Man who snatches kisses when young, kisses snatches when old.
. Wife who slides down bannister makes monkey shine.
. Virginity like balloon, one prick and it is all gone.
. Girl who douches with vinegar walk around with sour puss.
. Girls should not marry basketball players, they dribble before they shoot.
. Woman who flies upside-down have crack up.
. He who sneezes without a handkerchief takes matters into his own hands.
. Man who have head up ass, have shitty outlook on life.
. Man who have hand in pocket not just jingling change.
. A streaker is someone who is unsuited for his work.
. He who make oral love to epileptic woman may get tongue-tied.
. He who make love to exhaust pipe of car have hot rod.
. Eplileptic woman who give blow-job may bite big one.
. Sleepy man who stand behind car get exhausted.
. Sleepy man who stand in front of car get tired.
. Man who go to bed with itchy ass, wakes up with smelly fingaz.
. Man who stand on toilet, must be high on pot.

. Man who have hand in pockets, not crazy, just feeling nuts.
All men eat, but Fu Manchu
Crowded elevator smell different to midget
Wise man never hide in woman's closet after eating baked beans
Boy and girl who go camping together sure have naughty intent
Butcher who back into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders
Even greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert
Man who walk sideway through airport doorway going to Bangkok
Exotic dancer get appluase, call girl just get clap
Fly who sit on toilet rim get pissed off
He who eats many prunes sits on toilet many moons
Secretary not permanent fixture until screwed on desk
He who masturbates in front of cash register, come into money
Man and woman who have sex in cemetery are said to be fucking near dead.
Girl who rides bicycle peddles ass all over town.