"Words From Women" joke

"You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever
see a smart woman with a dumb guy." -- Erica Jong
"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We
can't decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives." -- Rita Rudner
"I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm
not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde." -- Dolly Parton
"I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog." --
Wendy Liebman
"Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth to." --
Erma Bombeck
"If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them." --
Sue Grafton
"I would love to speak a foreign language, but I can't. So I grew
hair under my arms instead." -- Sue Kolinsky
"I think -- therefore I'm single." -- Lizz Winstead
"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men
invade another country." -- Elayne Boosler
"I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch." -- Gilda
Radner
"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman." -- Maryon
Pearson
"Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed
as an assistant professor. It is for a woman schlemiel to get as
quickly promoted as a male schlemiel." --- Bella Abzug
"In politics, If you want anything said, ask a man; If you want
anything done, ask a woman." -- Margaret Thatcher
"I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage
and a career." -- Gloria Steinem
"Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths." -- Baroness
Edith Summerskill
"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties?
How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose
around your neck?" -- Linda Ellerbee
"Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry." -- Gloria
Steinem
"Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other.
Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then." --
Katharine Hepburn