"We'll Your Honor, You See...." joke

It seems that a man was brought to criminal cort for the murder of his
wife.
Judge: "Sir, you have been brought before me and stand accussed of killing
your wife." "What do you have to say in your defense?"
Man: "Well your Honor, I came home early and found my wife in bed with my
best friend and I shot her." "Thats all I have to say."
Judge: "I see nothing in the transcript that mentions what happened to your
best friend, would you please tell me what happened with him."
Man: " Well your Honor, I pointed my finger at him and said BAD DOG, BAD DOG."

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months, I don't like to interrupt her.

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Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day?
A: I'm bacon!

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A man walks into a bar and orders three beers. He takes a drink out of one... sets it down. Takes a drink out of the second... sets it down. Takes a drink out of the third one... sets it down. - and repeats this process until all three beers are gone. The man leaves. On the same more...

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A blonde and a brunette were watching the 11:00 news. The current news story
was about a man up on a ledge and threatening to jump. The station cuts to a
commercial.
Brunette: I bet you $20 he's going to jump.
Blonde: OK.
(back to newscast)
He more...

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One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding.
He
went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first
thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver
was! Blue eyes, blonde, the more...

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