"I haven't spoken in months" joke

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months, I don't like to interrupt her.

It seems that a man was brought to criminal cort for the murder of his
wife.
Judge: "Sir, you have been brought before me and stand accussed of killing
your wife." "What do you have to say in your defense?"
Man: "Well your Honor, I came more...

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A blonde decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the park.
A few days later, a man was walking his dog and spotted her hanging from the tree. He asks the blonde what she is doing and she replies, "I'm hanging myself."
"You're supposed more...

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Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day?
A: I'm bacon!

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A man walks into a bar and orders three beers. He takes a drink out of one... sets it down. Takes a drink out of the second... sets it down. Takes a drink out of the third one... sets it down. - and repeats this process until all three beers are gone. The man leaves. On the same more...

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A blonde and a brunette were watching the 11:00 news. The current news story
was about a man up on a ledge and threatening to jump. The station cuts to a
commercial.
Brunette: I bet you $20 he's going to jump.
Blonde: OK.
(back to newscast)
He more...

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