"Suicide" joke

A blonde decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the park.
A few days later, a man was walking his dog and spotted her hanging from the tree. He asks the blonde what she is doing and she replies, "I'm hanging myself."
"You're supposed to put the noose around your neck, not your waist," said the onlooker. "I tried that," replied the blonde, "but I couldn't breathe."

There were 10 blondes and 1 brunette hanging on a rope in the mountains. the rope was very weak and the brunette said someone had to let go. no one volunteered, until the brunette finally said she would let go, and gave a heart-felt speech. hearing this the blondes started more...

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Regular naps prevent old age..... especially if you take them while driving.

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Two guys walk into a bar and sit down at a table.
The barkeep comes over to them and asks, "What can I serve you gentlemen?"
One of them says to the barkeep, "I'll bet you a pitcher of you finest beer that I can lick my eye."
The barkeep says, more...

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A wealthy merchant of 84 married a 25-year-old fashion model. They had a wonderful honeymoon in Switzerland but, unfortunately, the old boy suffered a coronary and was hospitalised.
When his young wife came to see him, the old man said, "Sweetheart, your future has been more...

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why are there no mexicans in the olympics?
Because any mexican who can already run, jump, or swim is already in the U.S.

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Devon:Lol, that was just a saying that the one redhead and one bournette sent by gods african tribe and it's beyond crazy to that prehistoric scene that everyone jumped out and climbed up the nearest tree is part of the fatal rescue to run from the fire and guns cause there predators and cant see where the fake incidents lead to and tried laying down thescreaming tand wild gunman to poo the redhead and tribe caled 1-2-3 causing shamble cure masquline sword sorrows in savory prediction.
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autumn:Talk to me.
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autumn:I was just in a tornato.
Funny Joke? 69 vote(s). 78% are positive. 4 comment(s).