"Ugliest in all the land..." joke

Snow White, Tom Thumb and Quasimodo were walking down the street one day."I wonder if I'm still the most beautiful woman in all the land" said Snow White.
"I wonder if I'm still the shortest man in all the land" said Tom Thumb.
"I wonder if I'm still the ugliest man in all the land" said Quasimodo.So the three decided to go and visit the magic mirror who would tell them if they still held their titles.Each went in alone to consult the mirror and came out to tell the others what they had found out."Yes, I'm still the most beautiful in all the land" said Snow White."Yes, I'm still the shortest in all the land" said Tom Thumb."Who the hell is Camilla Parker-Bowles?" said Quasimodo.

Teacher: Why are you late to school?
Kevin: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Kevin: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

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A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson; "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can more...

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While I was watching a basketball game on TV last weekend, my wife and I got into a conversation about life and death and the need for living wills. During the course of the conversation, I told her that I never wanted to exist in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine more...

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Teacher to naughtiest boy in class: " Tell me; Ramu; why is the globe
flattened only at the Poles and not anywhere else? "

Ramu to the teacher: "I swear miss; I didn' t do anything. The globe was in the same Condition last year! "

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Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd think at least one of them would've seen it.

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