"UN-Peacekeepers" joke

There is a lot of talk about the United Nations creating a combined strike force with troops from several nations included in it.
Could it work? Let's take a look at one operation.
A combined force beach landing on a tropical island. When the troops hit the beach.
The Royal Marines go fishing.
The US Marines wait for CNN to arrive.
The French don't care whose beach it is; it's French territory now!
The Canadians watch the Americans very closely, then offer to guard their landing strip.
The Dutch have a beach party and smoke some dope saying the English don't understand them.
The Italians go sunbathing.
The Germans land and build a car factory.
The West Indians go looking for the Dutch.
The Austrians just watch the Russians and Germans.
The Chinese win the natives hearts and minds then kill them.
The SEALs arrive after dark and kill anyone who is not a SEAL.
The Aussies and Kiwis land then start fighting each other over a sheep.
The South Americans send a contingent of 2000 generals.
The South Africans start shooting at anyone with a tan.
The Saudi's start drilling for oil.
The Russians open a chain of massage parlours.
The Brit airborne troops get charged with murder even though they have not opened fire yet.
The Spanish are late.
The Portuguese are late but blame the Spaniards.
Delta Force makes a movie about the landing.
The Greeks and Turks turn up then send a bill to the Yanks and Brits.
The British Army cannot come because all six of them have flu.
The Japanese don't know who owns what ships and decide to sink them all.
The Californian National Guard won't land until someone opens a Starbucks.
The New Yorkers paint their helicopters yellow and will take you ashore for 50 bucks.
The Irish Army will be late because they say they are still celebrating St. Patrick's Day.
The Israeli's start building a settlement and shell the Palestinians as a precaution.
The Scandinavians like it off shore and stay there killing whales for the Japanese.
The Polish tunnel under the beach looking for coal.
The Palestinians say it used to be theirs but the Israelis stole it.
The Oklahoma National Guard has no idea what a beach is.
The Scottish claim to have found the beach first but accuse the English of stealing it.
The Texans kill anyone bad mouthing them.
The Mexicans invade Arizona by mistake.
The Welsh say it's King Arthur's last resting place but the English stole it.
The Swiss apply for a bank charter.
The Lybians blow up two UN planes.
The UN decides to send an Ambassador if the member states pay their dues.
The Kentuckians are screwing their sisters.
The Panamanians ask the Americans what they should do.
The Floridia National Guard demands a recount and free Prozac.
The European Union want to set up a commission of 50,000 administrators paid for by the Brits.
The Swedes just want to screw the Kentuckian's sisters.
The Michigan contingent begins a sit-down strike and blames General Motors.
Some guy from Tennessee swears that Elvis and Jimmy Dean are just over the dunes.
The Rumanians and Albanians finally arrive and surrender.
The Colorad Guard cuts off the Kansan's water supply.
H. M. The Queen will give anyone a Knighthood if they can grab her a few hundred acres or find a job for Charles.
The North Koreans have no idea what is going on but blame the Americans anyway.
Washington State National Guard builds a monument to Bill Gates.
The Pakistanis build a Motel Six, a convenience store and gas station.
Jimmy Carter arrives and declares peace.
George W. Bush doesn't know where the island is, so he orders the U.S. Airforce to bomb Hawaii.

Q. Why couldn’t the Lesbian tennis star compete in the Dutch Open?
A. She got her finger caught in a dike!


In Mumbai Thursday, the father, mother and son of Ayub Kolsawala, one of those held in Amsterdam after an incident on a flight to India.

PARIS, Aug. 24 - Dutch authorities said Thursday that they were releasing all 12 passengers arrested on Wednesday after they aroused more...


Q. Why couldn't the Lesbian tennis star compete in the Dutch Open? A. She got her finger caught in a dike!


How about making the evening a Dutch treat?" cooed the delectable blonde to her handsome escort. "You pay for dinner and drinks-and the rest of the evening will be on me."


One night, God spoke to a preacher to tell him what he wanted him to do. After God had briefed him on his mission, the minister decided to ask him a question. "God," he said, "What is heaven like?" God replied, "Well, normally I don't tell people this, more...

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