Build Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The beautiful Executive Assistant to the president of the Chase Manhattan Bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich Taiwanese client. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback.
    However, she remembers what her boss told her. Don't reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her. So, after a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75 carat diamond ring, with a matching 200 carat diamond tiara."
    The Taiwanese man pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says "No problem! I buy. I buy."
    Realizing that her first condition was too easy, the woman says to the man, "I want you to build me a 100 room mansion in New York. As a vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in France."
    The man pauses for more...

    Q: What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?

    A: Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.

    Below are questions that people "actually asked" of Park Rangers around the country, proving once again that there is no known limit to the depths of human stupidity.
    (Source: Outside Magazine)
    Grand Canyon National Park...
    Was this man-made?
    Do you light it up at night?
    I bought tickets for the elevator to the bottom - where is it?
    So where are the faces of the presidents?
    Everglades National Park...
    Are the alligators real?
    Are the baby alligators for sale?
    Where are all the rides?
    What time does the two o'clock bus leave?
    Denali National Park (Alaska)...
    What time do you feed the bears?
    Can you show me where the yeti lives?
    How often do you mow the tundra?
    How much does Mount McKinley weigh?
    Mesa Verde National Park...
    Did people build this, or did Indians?
    Why did they build the ruins so close to the road?
    What did they worship in the kivas - their own made-up religion?
    Do you know of any more...

    If architects had to work like programmers...Dear Mr. Architect, Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your discretion.My house should have between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one.Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough insulation in them).As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. (If more...

    Question and the Answer given by Candidates, oh sorry they are IAS
    (Indian Administrative Services - THE most difficult examination in
    India . Candidates are graduate Officers now.

    Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
    A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)

    Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it
    take four men to build it?
    A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 rd Rank Opted for IFS)

    Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four
    apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
    A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)

    Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
    A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with
    one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)

    Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
    A. No Probs, He sleeps at more...

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