"Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and pape..." joke

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

Two guys walk into a bar and sit down at a table.
The barkeep comes over to them and asks, "What can I serve you gentlemen?"
One of them says to the barkeep, "I'll bet you a pitcher of you finest beer that I can lick my eye."
The barkeep says, more...

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A fireman came home from work one day and told his wife and said, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station:
"BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets.
"BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole.
"BELL 3 rings and we're on the more...

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A wealthy merchant of 84 married a 25-year-old fashion model. They had a wonderful honeymoon in Switzerland but, unfortunately, the old boy suffered a coronary and was hospitalised.
When his young wife came to see him, the old man said, "Sweetheart, your future has been more...

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Prior to her trip to Texas, Buffy (a New Yorker) confided to her sorority sisters she had three goals for her trip to the Lone Star State. She wanted to taste some real Texas Barbeque, take in a bona fide rodeo and have sex with a real cowboy. Upon her return, her sorority more...

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An old snake went to his doctor and told him, "Doc, I think I need something for my eyes. I don't seem to see very well nowadays."
The doctor fixed him up with a pair of glasses and told him to return in a couple of weeks for a check up.
When he returned two more...

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