"There was a man who" joke

There was a man who computed his taxes for 1997 and found that he owed $3407. He packaged up his payment and included this letter:Dear IRS:
Enclosed is my 1997 Tax Return & payment. Please take note of the attached article from the USA Today newspaper. In the article, you will see that the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat.Please find enclosed four toilet seats (value $2400) and six hammers (value $1029).This brings my total payment to $3429.00. Please note the overpayment of $22.00 and apply it to the 'Presidential Election Fund', as noted on my return. Might I suggest you the send the above mentioned fund a '1.5 inch screw'. (See attached article - HUD paid $22.00 for a 1.5 inch Phillips Head Screw.)It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year. I just saw an article about the Pentagon and 'screwdrivers'.Sincerely, I. Getscrewed Everyear

Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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A busload of politicians were driving down a country road when, all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road, and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field.The old farmer, after seeing what had happened, went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole to bury the more...

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When Bill and Hillary first got married, Bill said, "I am putting a box under our bed. You must promise never to look in it."
In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. However, on the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the better of more...

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Sometimes I wake up grumpy, other times I let her sleep.

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