"The crooked gene" joke

A man walks in to the local pub holding a medium sized box. He places the box on the bar, takes a seat and asks the bar tender "if I show you something amazing, will you give me a free pint" the bar tender thinks for a while and agrees. The customer gently removes the lid of the box to reveal a small man playing away at a classical piano. The bar tender begins to pour a pint and asks in amazement "where did you get that" the customer responds "just outside the pub, I found a dented lamp in the rubbish, I rubbed it and out came a gene who granted me only one wish". The bar tender handed over the pint and asked "may I have the lamp so I could also have a wish". The customer didn't respond but smiled and put the lamp on the bar. The bar tender rubbed the lamp and out came a gene, "you have awaken me from me sleep, if you let me rest I will let you have one wish" the bar tender quickly says "I wish I had a million bucks" suddenly a million ducks appeared in the pub and begun to sh*t all over the place. The bar tender looked at the customer and very slowly and crossly demanded "why didn't you tell me the gene way crooked" the customer answered "put it this way, I didn't ask for a 12 inch pianist" bar, drinking
A man walks into a bank and says he wants to borrow... "A man walks into a bank and says he wants to borrow$200 for six months. The loan officer asks him whatkind of collateral he has. The man says 'I've got aRolls Royce - keep it until the loan is paid off- here are the keys.' Six months later the man comes into the bank, paysback the $200 loan, plus $10 interest, and regainspossession of the Rolls Royce. The loan officer asks him, 'Sir, if I may ask, whywould a man who drives a Rolls Royce need to borrowtwo hundred dollars?' The man answers, 'I had to go to Europe for six months, and where else could I store a Rolls Royce for thatlong for ten dollars?'

A man walks into a bar with his pet crocodile, the bartender screams and demands he get the man eating creature out of there! The man tries to calm the bartender down and says he is very well trained to prove it the man whipped out his cock and put it in the crocodile's mouth, more...

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A man is starving in the desert and he comes across a tree with houses in it. He knocks on the door and an old man answers.
AHH, a visitor, said the man. well come inside and ill show u 2 a room. The man went to his room at the highest part of the tree. Oh, and dont have a more...

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Two Polish guys are sitting on a park bench, and a bum comes up to them.
"Hey!!" he bellows, in his hoarse voice. "I got a riddle for you two. What has 2 heads, 4 arms, 4 legs, and stinks like SHIT??"
The Polish guys look at each other, and one of more...

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A man visits his doctor. "I think I have a problem, doc," said the patient. "One of my testicles has turned blue."
The doctor examined the man briefly and concluded the patient would die if they didn't have his testicle removed.
"Are you more...

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A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Heidberg, and sat down to explain his problem. "Doctor, doctor! I've got this problem," the man said. "I keep hallucinating that I'm a dog. It's crazy. I don't know what to do!"
"A common more...

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