"The Image Of Rank" joke

General:
Leaps over tall buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water, and gives policy to God.

Colonel:
Leaps over short buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a switch engine, is just as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water if sea is calm, and talks to God.

Lieutenant Colonel:
Leaps over short buildings with a running start and a favorable wind, is almost as powerful as a switch engine, is as fast as a speeding b-b, walks on water in an indoor pool, and talks to God if special request is approved.

Major:
Barely clears quonset huts, loses tug-of-war with locomotives, can fire a speeding bullet, swims well, and is occassionally addressed by God.

Captain:
Makes high marks when trying to leap buildings, is run over by locomotives, can someimes handle a weapon without inflicting self-injury, can doggie-paddle, and talks to animals.

First Lieutenant:
Runs into buildings, recognizes locomotives two out of three times, is not issued ammunition, can stay afloat if properly instructed, and talks to water.

Second Lieutenant:
Falls over doorsills when trying to enter buildings, says “look at the choo-choo, ” wets himself with a water pistol, and mumbles to himself.

An NCO: Lifts building and then walks under them, kicks locomotives off the track, catches speeding bullets in his teeth, and chews them, and freezes water in a speeding glance. He is God.

your momas so fat when she stepped on the scale it said new high score.

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There were 10 blondes and 1 brunette hanging on a rope in the mountains. the rope was very weak and the brunette said someone had to let go. no one volunteered, until the brunette finally said she would let go, and gave a heart-felt speech. hearing this the blondes started more...

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A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...

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Bosses are like legs... When they get to the top, they become asses.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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AZ:one of my mates is a Second Lieutenant. thats fo sure :)
Funny Joke? 5 vote(s). 80% are positive. 1 comment(s).