"Scottish guy his kilt in a bar" joke
There was this Scottish guy, all dressed up in his kilt etc. sitting in a bar and he was a bit strapped for cash. He was trying to work out how to solve his problem when this guy with a big cigar and a moustache came in. He watched the guy order a whole heap of alcohol. When the bartender asked him to pay he just said, “Charge it to the Arafat account.” Now after this, several guys who looked the same came in and bought a whole heap of alcohol, charging it to the Arafat account.
Well, the Scotsman had thought long and hard and decided it was worth a try, so he went to the bartender, ordered his alcohol then said charge it to the Arafat account. Well the barman looked at him and said, “Sorry I can’t do that.” The Scotsman was surprised and said, “But you gave it to all those other guys.”
The barman replied, “Well, those guys had a big moustache and a cigar in their mouths.” So the Scotsman promptly whipped up his kilt and said, “Yeah, well so do I!!”
The Utah Jazz collected their 12th straight victory. In celebration, Utah residents might even stay up til midnight.
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.