"QUOTES FROM WOMEN" joke

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. -- Erica Jong
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. -- Rita Rudner
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde. -- Dolly Parton
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. -- Wendy Liebman
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth to. -- Erma Bombeck
If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them. -- Sue Grafton
I would love to speak a foreign language, but I can't. So I grew hair under my arms instead. -- Sue Kolinsky
I think -- therefore I'm single. -- Lizz Winstead
"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country." -- Elayne Boosler
"I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch." -- Gilda Radner
"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman." -- Maryon Pearson
"Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant professor. It is for a woman schlemiel to get as quickly promoted as a male schlemiel." --- Bella Abzug
"In politics, If you want anything said, ask a man; If you want anything done, ask a woman." -- Margaret Thatcher
"I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career." -- Gloria Steinem
"Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths." -- Baroness Edith Summerskill
"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?" -- Linda Ellerbee
"Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry." -- Gloria Steinem
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then." -- Katharine Hepburn