"Programmer dies..." joke
A programmer died after leading a rather quit life. This guy was lucky, he got a choice between going to heaven or hell.
So he went on a tour of heaven with St. Peter. All around him people was singing and clapping hands or just leading a mild, peacefull existence. "Mmm, this ain't bad", thought the programmer. "But what does hell look like?", he wondered.
Satan took him on a personal tour of Hell. They went to a bar with beautiful girls who did everything you asked with a smile. You didn't have to pay for anything, and It was situeted in a tropical paradise. "Now THIS I could go for."
The programmer chose hell. The moment he set foot there, 4 ugly demons grabbed him and carried him off to a huge fire. Everything smelled fould and diseased, and there wasn't a sign of the tropical paradise he visited on the tour. So he asked Satan about it.
Laughing evilly, Satan replied "That was the _demo_, man."
A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a
bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes
a genie.
The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello Master, I
will grant you one wish, anything that you want."
The more...
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!
A Sardarji joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee. On his first day he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone,"Abey saale Get me a coffee quickly!" The voice from the other side responded,"You fool you've dialed the wrong extension!
Do you know more...
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight
safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here
are some real examples that have been heard or reported.
From a Southwest Airlines employee: "There may more...
A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest.
"How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor.
"Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of more...