"Programmer dies..." joke

A programmer died after leading a rather quit life. This guy was lucky, he got a choice between going to heaven or hell.
So he went on a tour of heaven with St. Peter. All around him people was singing and clapping hands or just leading a mild, peacefull existence. "Mmm, this ain't bad", thought the programmer. "But what does hell look like?", he wondered.
Satan took him on a personal tour of Hell. They went to a bar with beautiful girls who did everything you asked with a smile. You didn't have to pay for anything, and It was situeted in a tropical paradise. "Now THIS I could go for."
The programmer chose hell. The moment he set foot there, 4 ugly demons grabbed him and carried him off to a huge fire. Everything smelled fould and diseased, and there wasn't a sign of the tropical paradise he visited on the tour. So he asked Satan about it.
Laughing evilly, Satan replied "That was the _demo_, man."

You mamma is soo fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out!

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Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

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President Vladimir Putin called President Bush with an emergency:
"Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the Russian President cried; "My people's favourite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!"

"Boris, the American people more...

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nan- why is there some retard sunbathing in the road
me- nan, he's been hit by a car...

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Q: What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?
A: Leave the plunger in the toilet

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