Tropical Jokes

A programmer died after leading a rather quit life. This guy was lucky, he got a choice between going to heaven or hell.
So he went on a tour of heaven with St. Peter. All around him people was singing and clapping hands or just leading a mild, peacefull existence. "Mmm, this ain't bad", thought the programmer. "But what does hell look like?", he wondered.
Satan took him on a personal tour of Hell. They went to a bar with beautiful girls who did everything you asked with a smile. You didn't have to pay for anything, and It was situeted in a tropical paradise. "Now THIS I could go for."
The programmer chose hell. The moment he set foot there, 4 ugly demons grabbed him and carried him off to a huge fire. Everything smelled fould and diseased, and there wasn't a sign of the tropical paradise he visited on the tour. So he asked Satan about it.
Laughing evilly, Satan replied "That was the _demo_, man."

>>>In Australia, this man walks into a bar one night and a visiting
>>>drunken indian says to him:
>>>"HE MANN, IZ INT DERE ANNEE WEMEN IN DIS
>>>FUCK"N CUNTRY?"
>>>
>>>The Austrailian guy says:
>>>"SURE MATE. WATCH THIS......"
>>>
>>> He walks up to a girl and says:
>>>"TICKLE YOUR TWAT WITH A FEATHER?"
>>>
>>>The girl said immediately:
>>>"WHAT????????"
>>>
>>>He then quickly replied:
>>>"I SAID, TYPICAL TROPICAL WEATHER."
>>>
>>>He walked up to another girl and said very politely:
>>>"TICKLE YOUR TWAT WITH A FEATHER?"
>>>
>>>Girl: "SURE." And the two walked out of the bar. The next evening,
>>>the indian went back to the bar to see if he could learn some lines
>>>to pick up women. He found the austrailian guy and asked for advice.
>>>
>>>He replied by saying:
>>>"YOU GO UP TO A more...

Weather reports show Tropical Storm Fay is still hanging around Florida. My guess is that it's stuck behind a lady in the left lane, doing about 35.

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian. Prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area.

Finally one day during a tropical storm, Justin said to Christian "I'm bored and frustrated at being a prawn, I wish I was a shark - then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten..." As Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a flash of lightning hits the water and lo and behold, Justin turns into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swims away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.

Time went on and Justin found himself becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them, Justin hardly realizing that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.

During the next tropical storm, Justin figures that the same lightening force more...

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian.

The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area. Finally, one day during a tropical storm, Justin said to Christian "I'm bored and frustrated at being a prawn, I wish I was a shark - then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten..."

As Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a flash of lightning hit the water and, lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.

Time went on and Justin found himself becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. During the next tropical storm, Justin figured that the same lightning force more...