"No women French Foreign Legion (adult)" joke

In the olden days of the Legion Etrangere (French Foreign Legion), Lieutenant Lefevre was extremely happy to be posted near Bir Ounane, right in the middle it seems, of the desert.
Boy howdy, did he enjoy the challenge of the elements, the demands for personal survival skills, the camaraderie of the other officers, etc! In fact, for four months, he enjoyed EVERYTHING!
Around the beginning of his fifth month there, a steady ache in his groin reminded him that the hadn't had any female companionship and that it was time to put his johnson back to work. He confided one day in Sergeant LeBrun: "Sergeant, I've got a personal problem. I need a woman. What do the men do when they have this urge?"
"Sir," responded Sergeant LeBrun, "there's no problem. They usually take the camel..."
"Non, non, non. Jamais! Never! Never!" screamed the lieutenant. "I will not descend to such low conduct."
Well, about two months later, he really is feeling horny, and he asks the sergeant to point out the camel. Stepping up behind the camel, he drops his pants, plants his dick in the camel and humps away. The camel roars and roars, the more the lieutenant pumps. Finishing, he asks, "Well, sergeant, I guess you've never seen anybody screw a camel better than that!"
"That's true, mon lieutenant, they usually take the camel into town to the whorehouse."

It was near the end of basic training and all the soldiers were getting ready for the war games.
A private came charging into his Lieutenant's office and said " Lieutenant, I lost my rifle. What am I going to use for the war games?"
"I don't have time to more...

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Private Jones was assigned to the army induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their Serviceman's Group Life Insurance (SGLI). It wasn't long before the center's lieutenant noticed that Private Jones had almost a 100% record more...

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A COLONEL ISSUED THE FOLLOWING DIRECTIVE TO HIS EXECUTIVE OFFICERS:
"Tomorrow evening at approximately 2000 hours Halley's Comet will be visible in this area, an event which occurs only every 75 years. Have the men fall out in the battalion area in fatigues, and I will more...

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