"Listen before you speak" joke
3 backpackers, an Englishman, a Welshman and an Irishman walked into a bar in Sydney.The trio walk up to bar, the bartender leans over.He says "
I DON'T WANT ANY FIGHTS! If you start any, all of you will be chucked out.There's a man at the end of the bar, he's 6'5in.and 250lbs and has no ears.He's very sensitive about having no ears and if he catches looking at him, he'll rip ya heads off"
.
2 hours later, the bouncer approaches the three. He turns to the Englishman, and says "
Hey you, what are you looking at?"
"
I was looking at your hair, you have lovely hair, you should look after your hair."
He says "
Why?"
"
Because if you don't, you end up bald like me."
He turns to the Welshman,"
What are you looking at?"
"
I was looking at your teeth, you have nice, white teeth.You should look after those teeth."
He says "
Why?"
"
Because if you don't, you'll end up having false teeth like me"
He turns to the Irishman, he says "
What are you looking at?"
Irishman says "
You got beautiful eyes.Beautiful, beautiful eyes.You should look after those eyes"
.He says "
Why?"
"
Because if you don't, you'll end up with glasses like me and you got no bloody ears to hang them from."
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funniest F****** joke ever
byya i got a joke for ya what do you call a deer with one eye?
a F***** one eyed deer
A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
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A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
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