"Keeping the Commandments" joke

Ma and Pa made their annual visit to church for the Christmas Eve service.
As they were leaving, the minster said, "Pa, it sure would be nice to see you and ma here more than once a year!"
"I know," replied Pa, "but at least we keep the Ten Commandments."
"That's great," the minister said. "I'm glad to hear that you keep the Commandments."
"Yup," Pa said proudly, "Ma keeps six of 'em and I keep the other four."

Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

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Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

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A group of girlfriends are on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only". Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The Bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it more...

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There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He sits motionless, staring
like that for half-an-hour.
Then, this big guy breezes into the bar, steps next to him, reaches over, takes the drink from this
poor guy, and just drinks it all more...

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In a small town some where in Illinois lies a family. It consisted of a husband, wife, three sons, and a daughter. One of the sons had a terrible secret.

"Dad, I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm gay," said the son.

The Dad was furious he more...

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