"In a psychiatrist`s waiting room two patients are..." joke

In a psychiatrist`s waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, "Why are you here?" The second answers, "I`m Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here." The first is curious and asks, "How do you know that you`re Napoleon?" The second responds, "God told me I was." At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts, "NO I DIDN`T!"

A married man was spending the afternoon with his girlfriend when she asked that he shave his beard.
"I do like your beard, John, but I would really love to see your handsome face," she said.
"My wife loves this beard, honey," he replied. "I more...

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Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

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A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

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Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made
with real lemons?

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A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

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Funny Joke? 12 vote(s). 75% are positive. 0 comment(s).