Napoleon Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    What do you call Napoleon after a bomb has hit him?
    Napoleon Blown Apart

    In a psychiatrist`s waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, "Why are you here?" The second answers, "I`m Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here." The first is curious and asks, "How do you know that you`re Napoleon?" The second responds, "God told me I was." At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts, "NO I DIDN`T!"

    Late one night at the insane asylum one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"

    Another one said, "How do you know?"

    The first inmate said, "God told me!"

    A voice from another room shouted, "I did NOT!"

    NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!"
    CUSTER'S MOTHER: "Now, George, remember what I told you - don't go biting off more than you can chew!"
    ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"
    BARNEY'S MOTHER: "I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you're starting to look a little purple."
    MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you."
    BATMAN'S MOTHER: "It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance is going to be?"
    GOLDILOCKS' MOTHER: "I've got a bill here for a busted chair from the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?"

    ALEXANDER The Great, Julius Caesar and Napoleon were watching a military parade in Moscow. Alexander could not take his eyes off the tanks.' If I had chariots like these,' he said,' I could have conquered the whole of Asia.'
    Caesar eyed the missiles and said,' With such arrows, I could have ruled the world.'
    Napoleon glanced up from a copy of Pravda and said,' With a newspaper like this, no one would even have heard of Waterloo!'

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