"I'm not dumb" joke

Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy, other times I let her sleep.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...
so I said "Implants?"

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.