"Hello Mother, Hello Father (song)" joke
Here I am at Camp Grenada. Camp is very entertaining, and they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining. I went hiking with Joe Spivy. He developed poison ivy. You remember Leonard Skinner; he got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner.All the counselors, hate the waiters, and the lake has alligators. And the head coach was no sissy, so he reads to us from something called Ulysses. Now I don't want this to scare ya. But my bunkmate has malaria. You remember Jeffrey Hardy... They're about to organize a search party.Take me home, oh mother, father. Take me home, I hate Grenada. Don't leave me out in the forest where I might get eaten by a bear. Take me home, I promise I will not make noise or mess the house with other boys. Oh please, don't make me stay! I've been here one whole day.Dearest father, darling mother, how's my precious little brother? Let me come home if you miss me. I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me...Wait a minute... It stopped raining! Guys are biking. Guys are sailing, playing baseball... Gee, that's better! Mother, father, kindly disregard this letter!
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
Jimmy came up to his father one day and asked for a car. His father said, "Jimmy once your dick reaches your asshole, you can have a car." Two years later, Jimmy told his dad that his dick was able to reach his asshole. His father turned to him and said, "Well more...
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...
Don't worry about the world ending today... It's already tomorrow in Australia.