"Disability" joke
A Republican, a Libertarian, and a Democrat are seated separately in a restaurant when a poor man walks in; unbeknownst to any of them, it is Jesus.
The Republican summons the waiter and asks him to serve the poor man the best food in the house and put it on his tab; the waiter does so. The Libertarian asks the waiter to please serve the poor man iced tea and to put it on his tab. The waiter does so. The Democrat then asks the waiter to bring the poor man pecan pie with ice cream and to put it on his tab.
When Jesus is finished eating, He goes over to the Republican and says, "I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat. Thank you. I see you are blind." and He touches the man's eye, and it is healed.
Jesus then goes over to the Libertarian and says, "I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink. Thank you. I see you have a bad arm." and He touches the man's arm, and it is healed.
Then Jesus walks over to the Democrat. The Democrat moves far back from Jesus and exclaims, "Don't touch me!! I'm on 100% disability!!"
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again
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In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. However, on the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the better of more...