"Competing For The Smallest" joke

There were three midgets, and all three wanted to be in the Guiness Book of World Records for having the smallest of something... The first midget wanted to have the smallest hands, the second the smallest feet, and the third (you guessed it) wanted to have the smallest dick.
They went to get themselves measured, and the first little midget came out all happy because he had the smallest hands. The second midget came out all happy because he had the smallest feet... but the third little midget came out all pissed off and said, "Who the fuck is Osama bin Laden?"

Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

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My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

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Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
A: You can un-screw a lightbulb!

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Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again

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There were 10 blondes and 1 brunette hanging on a rope in the mountains. the rope was very weak and the brunette said someone had to let go. no one volunteered, until the brunette finally said she would let go, and gave a heart-felt speech. hearing this the blondes started more...

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