"Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happe..." joke

Jim had a date with a really, hot blonde and in preparation for it, he went on the rooftop of his apartment building to get a tan. Not wanting to have any tan lines, he decided to sunbathe in the nude. Unfortunately, Jim fell asleep. When he finally woke up, he was sunburned more...

A woman's breasts are like a child's toys. They are meant for the child - but the husband is the one that usually ends up playing with them.

Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

Q: whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A:When you slap a mosquito on the head it stops suckin