"African Safari" joke

A man goes to Africa on a safari. While there, he comes upon an
elephant in great pain, with a giant thorn in its foot. The man
very carefully approaches the elephant, and gingerly removes the
thorn from its foot. The elephant begins to walk away, then turns
and stares at the man for a full minute, locking eyes with him.
The elephant then continues on its way.
"
I wonder if I ever see that elephant again if it will remember
me?"
the man muses to himself.
It is a few years later, and the man is at a circus back in the
States.
He notices that one of the elephants keeps looking at him, almost
like it KNOWS him. The man wonders, "
Could this be that elephant
I helped so long ago?"
He decides to get a closer look. With the elephant still giving
him the staredown, the man moves in closer, getting right up in
front of the elephant. They lock eyes. A knowing look seems to
cross the elephant's face. It reaches down... picks the man up
carefully with its trunk... lifts him high in the air...
throws him crashing to the ground and stomps him to death!
Turns out it wasn't that elephant.

A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

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A LARGE, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack.
The very next day, a skinny little guy showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks' door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man more...

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After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a favor.
The Pope says, ''What can I do?''
The Colonel says, ''I need you to change the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' more...

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A man was about to die, so he went to a black magic store to get a voodoo dick. The man at the store said, "It works. Anything you tell it to go to, it goes. So your wife can just say, 'Voodoo dick, my pussy.'"
The man buys it and gives it to his wife. She says, more...

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A truck driver stopped for a meal at and was just served when a huge caravan of Hells Angels roared in. As the gang entered the restraunt, everyone but the truck driver quickly paid thier bills and left. The truck driver quietly sat there eating his steak.
The leader of the more...

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