"The Lumberjack..." joke
A LARGE, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack.
The very next day, a skinny little guy showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks' door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him to scram.
"Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the skinny man.
"Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the lumberjack.
"Take your axe and go cut it down!"
The skinny man headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the lumberjack's door. "I cut the tree down," said the little man.
The lumberjack couldn't believe his eyes and said, "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?"
"In the Sahara Forest," replied the puny man.
"You mean the Sahara Desert," said the lumberjack.
The little man laughed and answered back...
"Oh sure, that's what they call it now!
One day a little boy over heard his parents in the bedrooom arguing,"You bitch, your cunt is too hairy! Whell your dick is to small bastard!"The boy was curious about these new words so he went in the room and asked what they meant. The startled parents did their best more...
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. more...
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."