Carefully Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A man goes to Africa on a safari. While there, he comes upon an
    elephant in great pain, with a giant thorn in its foot. The man
    very carefully approaches the elephant, and gingerly removes the
    thorn from its foot. The elephant begins to walk away, then turns
    and stares at the man for a full minute, locking eyes with him.
    The elephant then continues on its way.
    I wonder if I ever see that elephant again if it will remember
    the man muses to himself.
    It is a few years later, and the man is at a circus back in the
    He notices that one of the elephants keeps looking at him, almost
    like it KNOWS him. The man wonders, "
    Could this be that elephant
    I helped so long ago?"
    He decides to get a closer look. With the elephant still giving
    him the staredown, the man moves in closer, getting right up in
    front of the elephant. They lock eyes. A knowing look seems to
    cross the elephant's more...

    Dharmaraj, the divine record keeper summoned Yamdoot, the messenger of death and ordered:' Go down and get the atma of Ram Lal. His time is up.'

    Yamdoot went down and found Ram Lal. But however much he looked in Ram Lai's body, he could not find his atma. He reported back to Dharmaraj.

    ' How can that be?, demanded the record keeper.' Every person has to have a soul. Go and look more carefully.'

    Yamdoot went back and looked more carefully but failed to find Ram Lal's soul.

    Dharmaraj consulted his records and could find no entry of a human being without an atma.' What does this fellow Ram Lai do for a living?', he asked.

    'He is some kind of a minister in the government,' replied Yamdoot.

    'No wonder you couldn't find a soul in his body. Go back and look in his chair. That's where Indian politicians and ministers keep their atmas.'

    Drive carefully; it's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

    The following is an exact transcription of a letter John Mongan received from MIT, and the reply that he sent them. Unfortunately, they chose to discontinue their correspondence at that point. I have heard, however, that their recruitment letter has been revised and is far less snotty than it once was.
    April 18, 1994
    Mr. John T. Mongan 123 Main Street Smalltown, California 9;;;;,-;;;;,
    Dear John:
    You've got the grades. You've certainly got the PSAT scores. And now you've got a letter from MIT. Maybe you're surprised. Most students would be.
    But you're not most students. And that's exactly why I urge you to consider carefully one of the most selective universities in America.
    The level of potential reflected in your performance is a powerful indicator that you might well be an excellent candidate for MIT. It certainly got my attention!
    Engineering's not for you? No problem. It may surprise you to learn we offer more than 40 major fields of study, from more...

    I am sure you can imagine
    It's as simple as can be.
    The place is picadilly
    The players are he and she.
    She whispered "Will it hurt me"
    "of course not", answered he,
    It's a very simple process.
    You can rely on me.
    She said I am frightened,
    I've not had it done before.
    He started to convince her,
    It would not hurt at all.
    Finally she consented,
    and he started on it.
    Half an hour later
    Neither spoke a word.
    It was rather painful.
    Tears in her eyes.
    It's hurting quite a bit now.
    It must be quite a size.
    "Now calm yourself my dear" said he.
    His face betrayed a grin.
    Just open slightly wider
    Let me get more in.
    It's coming now he told her.
    Suddenly he gave a shout.
    Thank god,
    You pulled it out.
    Now if you read it carefully
    It's a dentist you will find,
    and not what you are thinking.
    It's just your dirty mind.

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