"A few Q and As" joke
Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A. Slow down and use a lubricant.
Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women crazy?
A. Money
Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A. After five years your job will still suck.
Q. What's the difference between you and your paycheck?
A. Your wife will blow your check.
Q. What's the definition of a male chauvinist pig?
A. A man who hates every bone in a woman's body except his own.
Q. Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
A. Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
Q. What do blondes and the Bermuda triangle have in common?
A. They've both swallowed a lot of seamen.
Q. How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist beach?
A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
Q. Who is the most popular girl at the nudist beach?
A. She is the one who can eat the last donut!
Q. What's the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom?
A. A pick-pocket snatches watches.
Q. Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A. More head room.
Q. What do a dildo and soy beans have in common?
A. They are both used as a substitute for meat.
Q. What's the difference between a blimp and 365 blow jobs?
A. One is a goodyear, and the other is a great year.
Q. What do old women have between their breasts that young women don't?
A. A bellybutton.
Q. Why do the men in Scotland wear kilts?
A. Because the sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.
He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction
on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they
would marry, he thought to more...
If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long.
If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and says to the bartender, "Hey, I got this great Polish Joke..." The barkeep glares at him and says in a warning tone of voice: "Before you go telling that joke you better know that I'm Polish, both bouncers are Polish and so more...
Three men were all applying for the same job as a detective. One was Polish, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. Rather than ask the standard questions during the interview, the chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that more...