"25 worst pickup lines" joke

Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, let's go screw.
Just call me milk, I'll do your body good.
Your body's name must be visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock.
I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
My love for you is like the energizer bunny, it keeps going and going...
That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.
Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way right away.
I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
I enjoy doing maintenance, you look like someone I would like to "tinker" around with.
You must be from Pearl Harbor, cause baby you're the Bomb -diggity.
If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.
Is that Windex? Because I can see myself in your pants.
I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?
I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
Wanna Play House? You be the screen door and I'll slam you all night long.
If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.
If you were a car, I wax you and ride you all over town.
Guy "Would you like to dance?"
Girl "I don't care for this song and surely wouldn't dance with you."
Guy "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants"
Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I've seem to have lost mine.
I look good on you.
I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.

"How I Met Your Mother", is the story Chuck Norris tells to everybody.

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Once Chuck Norris had a boner.
Their were no survivors

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Q: How many retarded Italian gardeners does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One, but don't expect results.

Q: How many European ballet dancers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they like Danzig in the dark.

Q: How many Mafia more...

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Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

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to: ALL staff
from: Office of Superintendant
re: "Teacher In Service Training" schedule (TITS)
In accordance with recent changes in the State Education Law, our district is now required to supply bigger and better TITS for each employee.
We are more...

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