"Lightbulb joke collection 87" joke

Q: How many retarded Italian gardeners does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One, but don't expect results.

Q: How many European ballet dancers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they like Danzig in the dark.

Q: How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to screw it in, one to watch, and one to shoot the witness.

Q: How many Cornell students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two--one to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the pressure.

Note: Cornell is stereotyped as the most stressful of the Ivies.

Q: How many Columbia students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Seventy six-one to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the lightbulb's right not to change and twenty five to hold a counter protest.

Note: Columbia was the most politically active of the ivies back in the 1960s.

Q: How many Yale students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None--New Haven looks better in the dark!

Note: If you have ever been to New Haven, you'll know it really does.

Q: How many Brown students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One--and that's what his degree will be in!

Note: Because Brown has no real core curriculum.

Q: How many Penn students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One, but he'll make sure it's on his resume.

Note: Penn is seen as being a little less academically rigorous than the others, and it's very preprofessional.

"How I Met Your Mother", is the story Chuck Norris tells to everybody.

30
12

Once Chuck Norris had a boner.
Their were no survivors

72
36

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

69
33

to: ALL staff
from: Office of Superintendant
re: "Teacher In Service Training" schedule (TITS)
In accordance with recent changes in the State Education Law, our district is now required to supply bigger and better TITS for each employee.
We are more...

5
1

It is the spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Carrie.

He's a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, Carries father answers and invites him in.

'Carrie's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?' her dad more...

11
3
Be first to comment!
remember me
follow replies
Funny Joke? 3 vote(s). 67% are positive. 0 comment(s).