Funny Jokes

Fill Out Questionnaire

Hot 2 months ago

A teacher was asked to fill out a special questionnaire for the state. One question said, "Give two reasons for entering the teaching profession."
The teacher wrote: "July and August."

Game Warden

Hot 2 months ago

A farmer and his friend were leaning on a fence chatting.
Suddenly, the local Game Warden showed up and insisted on checking the farmer's property and, in particular, a certain field. The farmer refused to allow him access to the field. The Warden insisted he had the right, saying, "I'm the Game Warden and I have a card! This card allows me to go in." Before the farmer could stop him, the Warden was off into the field.
Soon, a horrifying scream pierced the air and the Warden, being chased by a massive bull, reappeared running for his life. "Help, help!" he cried.
The farmer laughed and shouted back, "Show him your card! Show him your card!"

What did the maggot say to another? What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this!

Picture Of God

Hot 3 months ago

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. As she got to one little girl who was working very diligently, she asked what the little girl was drawing. The little girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused awkwardly and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat or looking up from her drawing, the little girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A hunchback is running along a street being chased by a pack of children. He stops, turns around and shouts, "Will you all get lost! I haven't got your bloody ball!"

The Sheep Story

Hot 3 months ago

A missionary gets sent into deepest darkest Africa and goes to live with a tribe therein. He spends years with the people, teaching them to read, write and the good Christian ways of the white man. One thing he particularly stresses is the evils of sexual sin. Thou must not commit adultery or fornication!

One day the wife of one of the Tribe's noblemen gives birth to a white child. The village is shocked and the chief is sent by his people to talk with the missionary.

'You have taught us of the evils of sexual sin, yet here a black woman gives birth to a white child. You are the only white man that has ever set foot in our village. It doesn't take a genius to work out what has been going on!'

The missionary replies:' No, no, my good man. You are mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence -- what is called an albino. Look to thy yonder field. See a field of white sheep, and yet amongst them is one black one. Nature does this on more...

Mahabharat Stories

Hot 3 months ago

In a remote village of India one masterji is teaching the Mahabharat Katha to a class. He is at the' Krishnajanma' part of it.
Masterji: to bachcho, so kamsa heard the akashwani that his sister's 8th child is goin to kill him. he was furious. he ordered to put Vasudev and Devki behind the bars. First son is born, and kamsa kills him by poisoning sencond one is born and kamsa thorws him off the mountain peak third one is born..
Now Ramu who is smartest puts up his hand.
Masterji (sounding nervous and confused): Ramu bete, whole india does not have doubt in Mahabharata and how come u have one?
Ramu Beta: Masterji, if Kamsa knew that Devaki's 8th child was going to kill him, why the hell did he put Vasudev and Devaki in the same cell??