Yellow Jokes / Recent Jokes

A "Mallu" female (from the heart of Kerala) went for a job interview for the post of a SECRETARY. When the manager saw the Mallu`s colorful attire and gold and well oiled uncombed jet black hair, his mind was screaming "Not This Woman." Nevertheless, he still had to entertain the Mallu.
So he told her, "If You could form a sentence using the words that I give you, then may be I will give you a chance! The words are GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK."
The enthusiastic Mallu lady thought for a while and said:
"I hear the phone GREEN GREEN GREEN, then I go and PINK up the phone, I say YELLOW..... BLUE`s that? WHITE did you say? Aiye, Wrong number... .. Don`t PURPLELY disturb people and don`t call BLACK, yokeeyy? Thank you."
The Manager fainted.....

your momma teeth is so yellow she has a job at the movie theatre spitting on pop corn
your momma teeth is so yellow when she closses her mouth her belly lights up
your momma teeth so messed up it looked like her tounge was in alkatraz
your momma teeth so messed up when she smiles it looks like piano key

- Black and Yellow, Black and Yellow
- Nan please, it's an inter-racial couple

Q: What do you call an elephant wearing pink earmuffs and a dress?
A: Anything you want, it can't hear you.
Q: Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?
A: Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Aspirin.
Q: What's grey and white on the inside and red on the outside?
A: An inside out elephant.
Q: What is grey and not there.
A: No elephants.
Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.
Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a green elephant?
A: Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: Ever seen a yellow elephant? (Stup-pid, fuul, idyut!)
Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?
Q: Why did more...

Jerks by Patrick Hanifin (Reproduced without permission from the Humor Archives)
Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found
the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?"
I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?" Suddenly
the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude.
I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits.
After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided
to call it again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're a jerk!" and hung
up.
Next to his phone number I wrote the word "Jerk," and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of
weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and then
I'd more...

At the edge of the forest there was a somewhat mediocre wizard. He is there to help the animals of the forest with some of their daily problems. One day a toad hops in.The toad says "Oh wizard, please help me. I was born with a yellow penis.""I've told you animals, I can't help you with any big problems," responds the wizard. "You'll have to go see the Wizard of Oz."So the toad hops off on his merry little way. But in not too long an elephant enters the wizards pad."Oh wizard," the elephant begins, "please help me. I was born without a trunk."Now the wizard is infuriated. "Don't you stupid animals ever listen!!! Take your damn big problems to the wizard of Oz!"The elephant responds "But, wizard how do I get to the Wizard of Oz?""Oh that's easy," says the wizard. "Just follow the yellow dicked toad!"

There was a red head, a brunette, and a blonde all in an adults only erotic shop.
The red head walks up to the counter and tells the man that she would like the red vibrator.
He takes it down off the shelf and says "ok that'll be twenty dollars." She pays and goes off on her merry way.
The brunette walks up to the man and says that she would like the yellow vibrator.
He take the yellow one off the shelf and says "ok, miss, that'll be twenty dollars."
She pays and goes off on her merry way.
The blonde walks over to the man blushes and says "yes, sir, I would like the plaid one please." The man turns around to see the "plaid vibrator" and smiling, says "that'll be 75 dollars."
The blonde pays and goes off on her merry way.
The owner of the store comes in and asks the man how the sales were that day.
He replies, "Well, I sold a red and a yellow vibrator for 20 dollars each, and i sold your thermos more...