Wendy Jokes / Recent Jokes

A white guy is being shipped off to Jamaica for a year with the army. His fiance, Wendy, is really worried about her man being unfaithful, so she asks him to tattoo her name to his penis... He agrees, and does so. When his penis isn't erect you can see the letters W and Y. The woman feeling secure knowing that her name is tattooed on her man's penis says good-bye to her fiance and he leaves for Jamaica. One day, while in Jamaica, the guy is at the urinal and a black Jamaican comes and stands at the urinal next to him... The white guy happens to notice that the Jamaican also has a tattoo on his penis and he could see the letters W and Y, so he says to the Jamaican, "Wow, that's really interesting, I guess you have a girlfriend named Wendy too?" And the Jamaican looks at him with a puzzled look and then stretches out his penis and it says..."Welcome to Jamaica have a nice day!"

Q: What do a Wendy's Hamburger and the Waco compound have in common? A: They were both cooked by a guy named "Dave".

Words From Famous Women...
"I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb...and I also know that I'm not blonde." - Dolly Parton
"I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job." - Roseanne
"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives." - Rita Rudner
"He tricked me into marrying him. He told me he was pregnant" - Carol
Leifer
"I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog." - Wendy Liebman
"I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on." - Roseanne
"I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's because it's cold in there. And I'm like: How did my mother know THAT?" - Wendy Liebman
"I think-therefore I'm single" - Lizz Winstead
"Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is more...

Words From Famous Women... "I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb...and I also know that I'm not blonde." - Dolly Parton "I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job." - Roseanne "My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives." - Rita Rudner "He tricked me into marrying him. He told me he was pregnant" - CarolLeifer "I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog." - Wendy Liebman "I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on." - Roseanne "I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's because it's cold in there. And I'm like: How did my mother know THAT?" - Wendy Liebman "I think-therefore I'm single" - Lizz Winstead "Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid." - Hedy more...

The teacher asked the students to bring one electrical appliance for
"Show & Tell," and the next day every kid had something.
The teacher asks Wendy: What did you bring?
"I brought a Walkman."
"And what is it for?"
"You can listen to music with it!"
"That's nice Wendy. What did you bring Kenny?"
"I brought a 'lectrical can opener, it opens cans!"
"Well done, Kenny.
Umm, Johnny, I see you didn't bring anything!"
"Yes, I did. It's in the hall."
So the entire class goes into the hallway.
"Umm, Johnny, what is that?"
"It's a heart/lung machine hospitals use to keep your heart going."
"Whoa. What did your father say about you bringing this?"
"He said, 'AAAARRRGGGH!!!'"

The teacher asked the students to bring one electrical appliance for"Show & Tell," and the next day every kid had something.The teacher asks Wendy: What did you bring?"I brought a Walkman.""And what is it for?""You can listen to music with it!""That's nice Wendy. What did you bring Kenny?""I brought a 'lectrical can opener, it opens cans!""Well done, Kenny.Umm, Johnny, I see you didn't bring anything!""Yes, I did. It's in the hall."So the entire class goes into the hallway."Umm, Johnny, what is that?""It's a heart/lung machine hospitals use to keep your heart going.""Whoa. What did your father say about you bringing this?""He said, 'AAAARRRGGGH!!!'"

The teacher asked the students to bring one electrical appliance for
"Show & Tell," and the next day every kid had something.

The teacher asks Wendy: What did you bring?
"I brought a Walkman."

"And what is it for?"
"You can listen to music with it!"

"That's nice Wendy. What did you bring Kenny?"
"I brought a' lectrical can opener, it opens cans!"
"Well done, Kenny.

Umm, Johnny, I see you didn't bring anything!"
"Yes, I did. It's in the hall."

So the entire class goes into the hallway.

"Umm, Johnny, what is that?"
"It's a heart/lung machine hospitals use to keep your heart going."

"Whoa. What did your father say about you bringing this?"

"He said,' AAAARRRGGGH!!!'"