Waist Jokes / Recent Jokes

Olie and Lena are getting ready to go to a Halloween party. Lena comes out almost naked except for a ribbon with a lemon tied around her waist.
Olie days, "Lane, is that what you're going to wear?"
Lena says, "Yes Olie, it is."
Then Olie goes back and comes out almost naked except for a ribbon with a potato tied around his waist
Lena asks, "Olie, is that what you're gonna wear to the party?"
Olie says, "Yes, I figured if you could go as a sour puss, I could go as a dictator."

A german, a japanese, and a texan were all in a sauna butt-naked.All they were wearing was a towel around their waist.
All of a sudden, the german looks at his side.The texan, wondering what he was doing, saw he had a pager built into his side. He said you have a pager built into your waist?
The german says, "
Yeah! New german technology great stuff!"
The texan was confused.
Then, all of a sudden, they heard a ringing sound. The japanese started talking into his wrist.The texan saw this and said"
You have a telephone built into your wrist?"
The japanese said,"
Yeah! new japanese technology! great stuff!"
Confused once more, the texan just said,"
I got to use the men's room, I need time to think."
So he went, and when he got back, he found that the german was looking at him kinda' funny. Wondering why, the german said,"
You have a piece of toliet paper coming out of your butt!"
The more...

A blonde and a brunette are living together. The brunette came home from work one day and the blonde had a rope around her waist. The brunette asked why the rope was around her waist. The blonde said that she was trying to commit suicide. The brunette said, "You put it around your neck!" The blonde replied, "I tried that but I couldn't breathe!"

Just so everyone has a better understanding, I believe that, in general, women are saner than men. For example: If you see people who have paid good money to stand in an outdoor stadium on a freezing December day wearing nothing on the upper halves of their bodies except paint, those people will be male.

Without males, there would be no such sport as professional lawn mower racing. Also, there would be a 100 percent decline in the annual number of deaths related to efforts to shoot beer cans off of heads.

Also, if women were in charge of all the world's nations, there would be no war. I sincerely believe this - virtually no military conflicts, and if there were a military conflict, everyone involved would feel just awful and there would soon be a high-level exchange of thoughtful notes written on greeting cards with flowers on the front, followed by a Peace Luncheon (which would be salads, with the dressing on the side).

So, I sincerely believe that more...

A blonde was really depressed one day so she got some rope and went to the park to hang herself. Later on a man walks by and looks at this blonde hanging from a tree by her waist. The man askes her why she is hanging herself by her waist and she says.
I tried hanging myself by my neck but I couldnt breathe.